Listen To The Article Instead – Three Stories We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Down
We were walking by the river, my friend and I. It was a blessing to have the chance to talk dreams, job, business. But while we scrolled down under the unexpected warm sun in London, I realised that while I was sharing my goals, she was sharing dreams she didn’t think she could reach. That’s one of the stories we tell ourselves, one of the narratives that keep us stuck in our current situation even if we don’t like it. We tell ourselves so many of those stories but today I want to focus on three of them.
But first: remember to be kind to yourself
Before I talk about the three stories we tell ourselves that keep us down, I want you to remember to be kind to yourself. The narratives I’ll share are probably some that you are selling to yourself. And just because you do that, it doesn’t mean you need to shame yourself. We have ALL been there, I have been there: selling myself some stories about how “I wouldn’t”, “I couldn’t”, “I wasn’t enough to”. Embrace it, acknowledge it and then take small, baby steps to change those stories.
Three Stories We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Down
1. Maybe One Day
How common is it to procrastinate our plans? Hands up if you ever sighed and said: “maybe one day”. 🙋🏾 I certainly have. It went a bit like this: maybe one day I’ll have my own company; maybe one day I’ll publish my book; maybe one day I’ll loose weight.
The “maybe one day” story is a gentle way to tell our mind and soul that it’s never going to happen. And in fact, we say that because our brain can’t conceive whether it is actually going to happen. But, here is the tricky thing: avoiding to visualise it, will actually make it impossible for it to happen. And we’ll continue to be stuck with the job we don’t like, with the toxic relationship, …
Instead of the “maybe one day” story, give yourself a date, put it in the calendar and slowly work yourself to that deadline.
2. I can’t do It
I know you’re familiar with this one too: I can’t do it. By saying this we allow our brain to think that we are not able to. But we do other two things: disempowering ourselves by affirming that we are not able to do something and we are preventing ourselves from taking ANY action.
What we actually want to say with “I can’t do it” is that we don’t know where to start from. Which is a great! Because if you don’t know where to start from, you can find someone to help you.
If you’d like me to be that someone, let’s chat: book a free discovery call.
Instead of saying “I can’t do it”, ask yourself: “how can I do it? Who do I know who has done it before?”
3. My dream is to…
Guilty as charge! I have to routinely remind myself not to share this narrative with myself. It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole of the “My dream is to…” narrative. I’d say things like: my dream is to reach thousands of people with my book; or my dream is to run a six figure business from anywhere in the world; and again my dream is to help women of colour get their happy ending in business.
Dreams are beautiful and motivating. But plans are better. Plans get stuff done. Plans get you from your current situation to the next one. Which is going to be a better one.
Instead of dreaming, make plans. For instance, if you want to run a six figure business, how much do you have to earn from your services every month?
For more inspiration on this, watch Shonda Rhymes speech.
What Happens When You Change the Narrative
When you forget about the stories that keep you down, or better, when you change those stories, you take action. You might not have ALL of the answers but taking action will create a movement. That movement will get you closer to your final destination and out of the situations in your work and life that you don’t want to be stuck in.
In a few words, changing narrative will make you happier.
What are other narratives we tell ourselves and don’t make us fly?
Share them in the comments.